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Patricia Evans, an internationally recognized author whose groundbreaking books brought the subject of verbal abuse to the forefront of American consciousness, passed away peacefully June 10, 2024 at the age of 83.

Her profound legacy lives on, through her six books and the forum supporting 7000 women today. This site and forum are lovingly maintained to preserve the resources, support and guidance known by millions around the globe. Read Patricia’s full obituary here.


Meet Patricia Evans

over 34 years

of experience.

This is the official Verbal Abuse information site, featuring Patricia Evans, an internationally recognized Interpersonal Communications Specialist and author of the first book about Verbal Abuse. Drawing upon research of more than 30,000 cases of verbally abusive relationships, she has delivered hundreds of keynote addresses throughout the country. Founder of the Evans Interpersonal Communications Institute, where she has offered workshops and training programs, Patricia Evans single-handedly brought the subject of verbal abuse to the forefront of American consciousness.

Newsweek commended her first powerful book on the subject, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond (1992). Expanded edition (1996), as “A groundbreaking new book.” Click to learn more with links to buy on Amazon. Her books are available throughout the US, Canada, England, Mexico, Germany, France and in the Chinese Language.

This site is dedicated to the recognition and prevention of verbal abuse in homes, schools and workplaces.
The Verbal Abuse web site ushers in a new millennium of increased awareness.  It serves as a link to resources and information about verbal abuse.
This site will grow and change as we gather information. Indeed, it was only as recently as 1992 that verbally abusive relationships were named and described.
Powerful video about verbal abuse. Caution: Includes gut-wrenching scenes: MTV Ad with Helena Bonham Carter  
We invite you to contribute to our collective knowledge! If you have a resource that you think should be included here, please let us know.
Compelling trailer, a must-see introduction. Find it with more videos and interviews of Patricia, here: Verbal Abuse Trailer


What is verbal abuse?

Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish. It is a lie told to you or about you. Generally, verbal abuse defines people, telling them what they are, what they think, their motives, and so forth. The best way to deal with a verbally abusive relationship, whether you are the target of verbal abuse or the perpetrator, is to find out everything you can about verbally abusive relationships and their dynamics. Usually one person is blaming, accusing, even name calling, and the other is defending and explaining.

How can I learn more and get help?

There is a lot of information on this site. Please don’t miss the links above and throughout the site. As you find out about verbal abuse, you can find out what is ‘wrong’ with people who are verbally abusive, and what you might do about it.

I hope that if you suspect verbal abuse in your relationship, that you will read all five of my books. Each is a part of the picture.

What are some signs of verbal abuse?

Since the target of verbal abuse is often blamed, ignored, or yelled at, s/he may have difficulty recognizing just what is going on in the relationship. Most people targeted by verbal abuse try to explain to the abuser why what they’ve just heard is not true or not okay. They explain themselves because they believe the perpetrator is rational and can hear them and the relationship will then get better. Then they usually hear more verbal abuse, for instance, “You’re too sensitive.” At that point they don’t usually realize that they have just been defined, and, therefore, verbally abused again.

Since the target of verbal abuse is often blamed, ignored, or yelled at, s/he may have difficulty recognizing just what is going on in the relationship.

News and Events

Recommended Book: Understanding Attachment Injuries in Children

Recommended Book: Understanding Attachment Injuries in Children

“This is one of the best books I have ever read.” ~ Patricia Evans, Author

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Workshops Are Paused for Health Safety

Workshops Are Paused for Health Safety

Workshops are on hold at this time, while the Coronavirus pandemic is active.

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Gain clarity with just one book. I promise you that.

Peer Acknowledgments


Newsweek declared, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond , -"A groundbreaking new book."
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David L. Quinby, Professor Emeritus

Human kind urgently needs this, both on an individual and a collective level. Nothing else ...
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Workshop for Therapists

360 professionals attended and 99% said, "Yes, we would recommend this training to our colleagues!"
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SF Examiner Book Review

"Riveting" ~ Keay Davidson, San Francisco Examiner
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Dr. Richard Jamison

"Enlightening" Dr. Richard Jamison, Director, Productivity Enhancement, Rutherford NJ
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Psychological Resource Center

"Powerful and Life-changing" Don Adams, President, Psychological Resource Center, Cary NC
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Hope Counseling

"Excellent" Antoinette Michaels, Hope Counseling, Sayville NY
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Forums for men are covered in this page: Support for Men

Thank you for exploring this site and we wish you every success in your relationships.

“This is worth ten years of therapy.”
``Shelly``New York
“I learned so much. Patricia, you have been so helpful – and so patient.”
``Xavier``Washington, D.C.
“I am stronger now, in so many ways. What you showed me is priceless – It’s worth ten times what the book costs. Thank you for your wonderful work.”